I've finally found out what what bothers me about Clark

I have to admit that I've never been fond of Clark as a potential president.  Of course, after hearing him wander around all over the place saying strange things, he clearly didn't have the media chops to make it, so I've never been particularly worried.  I mean, he's no Ross Perot (now that guy is nuts!), but c'mon.

But there was something I couldn't put my finger on.  Watching him kinda creeped me out and I couldn't really say why. I accounted for the bobbing and weaving head thing.  I noted the vaguely robotic nature of his diction (albeit, with some pretty decent speech synthesis routines).  But Anna Holmes over at Salon has finally pointed out the real problem -- the dude doesn't blink.

OK, now that doesn't sound so bad. But it's like not thinking about an elephant in a tutu.  Once the idea has been mentioned, you're stuck with it. (This is an example of the more general principle of the quantity P. The quantity P is the amount of time spent in one month thinking about the quantity P.)

Check it out for yourself.  Here's a video from his website.  Not a blink to be seen.

But just imagine if he somehow, someday does get to be President.  Can you imagine dealing with four or eight years of looking at the non-blinker?  The non-blinking State of the Union address?  Non-blinking press conferences?  Uffda!  Ay Caramba!  Oy Vey!

Non-blinking is a rare thing.  It's seen in Parkinson's patients, but no one is suggesting that Clark has Parkinson's.  Did he teach this trick to himself, to try to Svengali people?  Um, doubtful.  Is is just something wrong with his tear ducts?  Hmm, maybe.  However, I have a much more likely explanation, one that also accounts for the rest of his behaviour as well.

The answer?  He is an animatronic mannequin suit worn by an alien.  See, now that covers the robotic thing, the strange rambling nature of some of his pronouncements, his non-blinking, his general off-ness.  I mean, it's a really good job.  Everybody is fooled.  But not me.  I'm calling you out, imposter in the Wesley Clark suit!